goss headliner

It shouldn't be very hard. Man wants thing. Man has money. Man finds person with thing. Then:

Man: "Hello. May I have thing, please?"
Salesperson: "Why, certainly. Do you have £x?"
Man: "Here you go"
Salesperson: "Thank you. Here is thing"
Man: "Goodbye."

Man: "Hello. May I have thing, please?"
Salesperson: "No, I'm afraid not. Try someone on this list."
Man: "Oh. Right."
Firm 2: "I'm sorry, we can't help you with an order smaller than £xxxxx"
Man: "Oh. Right."
Firm 3: "haHahahahAHAHA"
Man: "Hpmh."
Firm 4: "Yes, we can do that. For £x+lots"
Man: "...."
Salesperson: "Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. Have you tried our website. You can only order something a bit like thing, not what you want. Or try Firm 5"
Firm 5: "Yeh, alright. Fill out these three forms, apply for credit, send your purchase order, and we'll see what we can do".

unwrapped

How many computers do you have in your house? 
Submitted by Foomper.

There's this MacBook, there's that Mac mini, there's the borrowed G5, there's a wheezing Palm pilot. In the cupboard there's a Newton. There are Gameboys and Gamecubes, Dreamcasts and a mobile phone that could, y'know, get to the moon. I'm almost certain inside the Digital TV box beats the crash-happy heart of a Commodore 64; there's some sort of computer in the telly.

The iPod uses Chicago for a system font, so that counts, unlike the alarm clock -- which is why I slept in. There's a little computer in my camera, and a little camera in my computer.

But none of them help with this sore throat.

How did you meet your best friend(s)?

One of my best friends I met by tackling at rugby. It turned out he had Sky, and in those days that meant Simpsons, which meant a visit to his house, and you get the rest. He lives in Japan now, with glamour turned up to high.

Another I met before I knew him, fighting on usenet in the late 1990s about the influence of The Sun. Years later I was fighting with a colleague about the same topic, and both of us remembered having that fight on the internet of yore. Google proved it was us, still entrenched in the same position, ten years on.

the laptop is the greatest thing ever for being in bed ill and still getting shit done. that is all.

Does anyone know what it means to 'feed' a fantasy? And has it been proved that if you did feed one, it would get bigger and stronger and eventually burst out of its cage and bite someone's head off? Isn't it just as possible that it's lean, mean, starving fantasies which do the harm, and the best thing that anyone can do with one is to keep it well fed and docile?

I can't give you a link because Vox doesn't like Safari, but you don't need one. all you need to know is that there is now Coca Cola, deep fried. So you could have it with chips. And a coke. 

Google's latest news archive search goes back over 200 years. Click for the Titanic sinking, Hindenburg burning, Capa dying, all like any other story. It's a perspective on the past that makes it actually seem related to now.  http://news.google.com/archivesearch?hl=en

We were driving around the south of France, Skyrock was on the radio -- heavy rotation of Busta Rhymes and jay-Z -- and a wee gem comes on. The French are going nuts for it. Watch it.

Something of a translation, if you'd like it.

Who is your favorite Muppet? Why?
QotD submitted by knitwitology.vox.com.

Grimly Fiendish of this parish made a good case in the paper:

YOU’VE got to admire Cookie Monster’s dedication. Thirty years after Sesame Street first aired, he’s still a tireless champion of his cause: the ceaseless consumption of cookies. While Jim Henson’s other muppets proselytised about the alphabet, Cookie had no time to preach. “C is for cookie,” he sang, before stuffing his furry face, “and that’s good enough for me.” Critics scoffed, deriding his educational value and pointing out that all his food fell out of his mouth anyway, but he continued with the Zen-like determination you’d expect of a creature who shared a puppeteer – the legendary Frank Oz – with Star Wars’ Yoda. And despite being beaten up in Pennsylvania’s Sesame Place theme park last year by a military college student, Cookie is still going strong. First he got to bake on Martha Stewart’s Living show; now Sesame Street is on its way back. Sulley may be big, blue and boisterous but, when it comes to monsters, I know who takes the biscuit.

But he's wrong. Count von Count knows what counts. Did you know he was supposed to teach us how to handle people with mental disabilities like obsessive-compulsive disorder? I don't buy it: he just loved to count, ah, ha, ha.

See the two of them in titanic form:

And Vox won't let me find the best one, but it's here

This pair together are the best muppets.

Knights of the Round Table - Star Trek TOS

Watch it. Go on. Though the mong who made it won't allow embedding, so you'll have to click, and click and click agane.